they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
