just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
