Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
