she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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