jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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