If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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