It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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