dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
