You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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