Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My cat gives me a boner
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
