so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
