Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
