my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
