K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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