We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
