i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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