just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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