What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
