If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
