yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
