seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
