Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i think i have two assholes
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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