Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
