Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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