dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
