I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
