guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
