Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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