But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
