The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
