Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
