This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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