I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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