glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's the barista slut.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
