Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
