Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I need to align my fucking chakras
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