I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
