you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
