Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I puked a lego.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
