are you still at the devil's house?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
