You're my little dorito
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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