Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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