so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
