Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
