I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We need to get me chipped asap
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
