when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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