He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
