I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
