Sober January is a disaster.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
