Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
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