i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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