my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize