Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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