the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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