Is it because I queefed?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
