Me too!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
