I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
