Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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