Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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