No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
