Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
