You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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