Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
