I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
