he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
