ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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