Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize