So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
