East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
